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Directed by Stephen Sommers and starring Channing Tatum's Rugged Good Looks
Synopsis (MTV.com)
Director Stephen Sommers (The Mummy, Van Helsing) adapts the beloved Hasbro G.I. Joe toy line with this Paramount Pictures production that pits the Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity against the evil forces of the organization known as Cobra. Dennis Quaid and Channing Tatum star as General Hawk and Duke Hauser, respectively, with Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Marlon Wayans leading the rest of the cast, including Sienna Miller, Ray Park, Rachel Nichols, Christopher Eccleston, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Saïd Taghmaoui, and Asian film star Lee Byung-hun.
Director Stephen Sommers (The Mummy, Van Helsing) adapts the beloved Hasbro G.I. Joe toy line with this Paramount Pictures production that pits the Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity against the evil forces of the organization known as Cobra. Dennis Quaid and Channing Tatum star as General Hawk and Duke Hauser, respectively, with Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Marlon Wayans leading the rest of the cast, including Sienna Miller, Ray Park, Rachel Nichols, Christopher Eccleston, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Saïd Taghmaoui, and Asian film star Lee Byung-hun.
Take One!
GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra will never be mistaken for a film classic, to be mentioned in the same breath as Citizen Kane or Gandhi or some random boring foreign film most critics stroke themselves to. GI Joe is loud, it’s gaudy, it’s lame as all hell, and the CGI is bad enough to where it’s extremely noticeable. All negative points aside…GI Joe is worth every penny I (would have) spent on it.
I by no means expected a masterpiece. If you think GI Joe was going to get Dark Knight Treatment, then you aren’t considering the source material: the cartoon we all fondly remember was created to sell toys. That’s it; all it was meant for was to get kids to bug their parents to bring them to Child World or Toys R Us and buy up every 3 inch figure and each team’s base. In the years since the show has been out, it has gained a loyal fanbase, and as with every fanbase, people got rabid and they began to take it seriously.
If you are one of those fanboys: do not, I repeat DO NOT, leave your parent’s basement. You will hate it, you will whine about it, and you will curse the name of Stephen Sommers for years to come. For those of us who aren’t like that, who can shut their brains off and enjoy the ride, you will love this movie. It’s filled with enough action to keep you interested, and the actors themselves don’t suck as bad as you’d think (with the exception of Marlon Wayans, but that was a given he was gonna suck). Christopher Eccelson (of Doctor Who fame and The Seeker infamy) is especially great as the not quite Destro yet MacCullum, the head of the Cobra group. He definitely deserves a true career in the film business and hopefully he will have one at some point…if he avoids any possible sequel to The Seeker.
Here’s my opinion: if you want mindless fun, spend your money on this movie. It’s stupid, but it’s crazy enough to be entertaining. Plus, look at it this way: it isn’t Transformers 2. If that isn’t reason enough to go for all of you, then all hope is lost and I banish you back into your cellar, with your crazy computer, your action figures, and you’re lack of hygiene.
Verdict = See It
-Jon
I by no means expected a masterpiece. If you think GI Joe was going to get Dark Knight Treatment, then you aren’t considering the source material: the cartoon we all fondly remember was created to sell toys. That’s it; all it was meant for was to get kids to bug their parents to bring them to Child World or Toys R Us and buy up every 3 inch figure and each team’s base. In the years since the show has been out, it has gained a loyal fanbase, and as with every fanbase, people got rabid and they began to take it seriously.
If you are one of those fanboys: do not, I repeat DO NOT, leave your parent’s basement. You will hate it, you will whine about it, and you will curse the name of Stephen Sommers for years to come. For those of us who aren’t like that, who can shut their brains off and enjoy the ride, you will love this movie. It’s filled with enough action to keep you interested, and the actors themselves don’t suck as bad as you’d think (with the exception of Marlon Wayans, but that was a given he was gonna suck). Christopher Eccelson (of Doctor Who fame and The Seeker infamy) is especially great as the not quite Destro yet MacCullum, the head of the Cobra group. He definitely deserves a true career in the film business and hopefully he will have one at some point…if he avoids any possible sequel to The Seeker.
Here’s my opinion: if you want mindless fun, spend your money on this movie. It’s stupid, but it’s crazy enough to be entertaining. Plus, look at it this way: it isn’t Transformers 2. If that isn’t reason enough to go for all of you, then all hope is lost and I banish you back into your cellar, with your crazy computer, your action figures, and you’re lack of hygiene.
Verdict = See It
-Jon
Take Two!
If you are expecting to get any reminiscent bliss of waking up on Saturday morning eating Bill and Ted cereal and watching your favorite animated secret operations team by seeing the G.I. Joe movie then please allow me to crush your dreams! The only thing the movie and what you may or may not remember from the cartoon of years past is some character names and a couple catch phrases. Everything else is completely fresh hip clutch and cool for the new tech savy generation of Joe fans.
The film is in the typical origins style that we know so well from the comic book movies that we've seen, which I have nothing against it acctually makes for an interesting take on the franchise. In a nutshell the plot revolves around Cobra hijacking a dangerous new weapon being transported by the Joes. That would be good and plenty if it weren't for the fact that Cobra already has the new technology and has been implementing it already and could easily use their other resources to do damage to the world; but then there'd be no plot at all so I'll let it slide.
The movie plays out like an hour and a half toy commercial. The Joes just happen to have a special device to get them out of every sticky situation they end up in, and you can bet they will be available at your local big box retailer for only $16.99! “What's that? We need to chase a car? Well fuck using our cars we'll give you these bad ass robot suits that make you run really fast and impervious to all danger”. And my personal favorite “Oh no! We needed some vital information from this dead bad guy, shit. Oh wait! I'll just stick these chop sticks hooked up to a game boy into his scull and we can read images from his mind and get the information we need hooray”!
To sum it all up the movie will get you no nostalgic satisfaction what so ever but if you just want to go and see some cool fights and explosions then by all means this is your movie. I recommend not spending any money on the film but if you can see it for free go for it.
-Chris
The film is in the typical origins style that we know so well from the comic book movies that we've seen, which I have nothing against it acctually makes for an interesting take on the franchise. In a nutshell the plot revolves around Cobra hijacking a dangerous new weapon being transported by the Joes. That would be good and plenty if it weren't for the fact that Cobra already has the new technology and has been implementing it already and could easily use their other resources to do damage to the world; but then there'd be no plot at all so I'll let it slide.
The movie plays out like an hour and a half toy commercial. The Joes just happen to have a special device to get them out of every sticky situation they end up in, and you can bet they will be available at your local big box retailer for only $16.99! “What's that? We need to chase a car? Well fuck using our cars we'll give you these bad ass robot suits that make you run really fast and impervious to all danger”. And my personal favorite “Oh no! We needed some vital information from this dead bad guy, shit. Oh wait! I'll just stick these chop sticks hooked up to a game boy into his scull and we can read images from his mind and get the information we need hooray”!
To sum it all up the movie will get you no nostalgic satisfaction what so ever but if you just want to go and see some cool fights and explosions then by all means this is your movie. I recommend not spending any money on the film but if you can see it for free go for it.
-Chris
Trivialville Final Verdict
Dukelicious.
No pun intended.
Dukelicious.
No pun intended.
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